we're graduating, baby

Remember this?


We were 17, fresh faced (not very glam) and in year one. I also was wearing pink slippers and earrings that said BABY. Wtf, not very proud of that man. Thank goodness we have grown into the glam super hot people that we are today. Being in mass comm is like going through extreme makeover + loads of project + lots of fun. I'm not much of a math person but I like my equation.

the midas touch

to think i might not see those eyes

So, things have finally been resolved and staying at home isn't as painful anymore. But that doesn't make a difference to me - because no one has asked me how I feel or anything even close. I guess my non-confrontational nature might make me look like I'm not affected, but I am, of course I am. I'm just not good at saying it. But if you asked me, I'd probably tell you. I'd probably sit down with you for hours and tell you everything. But you'll never ask, because you have no idea. And I refuse to hear anyone say that it's my fault for not saying anything. Tell me that it's not my fault. I don't want to be blamed. Let me believe that what I want is important. Because too often I've been led to believe that it isn't.

Have heart, my dear...

teach me how to fight

So, school's been really busy lately and the end is nearing. With each day that we go to school, its one day less for us to do so. It's scary, facing the big, bad world - everyone moving on. But it's also very exciting.

I just did this amazing Mayan-Aztec astrology reading. It's really accurate.

There's this part of the reading that says "It is probable that your father was your most influential parent". Well, it doesn't say if the influence was positive or negative. He definetely has influenced me - to be strong, independant, matured and well the list goes on.

I stopped caring a long time ago, but that doesn't mean that I haven't learnt from it. They say that we learn about our history so that we won't make the same mistakes again. I don't ever want to make the same mistakes that my parents have made. There's some pretty fucked up shit in that part of my history. But life goes on, and the things that don't kill you only make you stronger.

On another note - I hate how fucking crowded school is because of the bloody open house. They should just have it on saturday and sunday or smthg. When most of us aren't in school.

Mavis & Joo: Totally lah!! We should release our idea to the public domain, under the Creative Commons contract.
Ade: HEY HEY HEY!!

another one of these thingies

I'm awfully bored because I'm waiting for my family to get ready, so we can head down to the hospital. My grandpa is doing fine (: he's coming back home tomorrow - things at home are still like sheeeet, but my grandma has a plan. I hate how difficult family life is sometimes.

Rules:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie.
7. Comment on how appropriate you feel it is.

1. Opening Credits: Come as you are - Nirvana

My fav Nirvana song - seems perfect

2. Waking Up: How to save a life - The Fray

"And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life"

I guess we all need to be reminded how important our friends are, first thing in the morning.

3. First Day At School: Plans - Bloc Party

"Wake up sleepyhead
It's happening without you"

Yup, sounds just like me.

4. Falling In Love: Strange and Beautiful - Aqualung

How true, how true. This song speaks for itself.

5. Fight Song: White Daisy Passing - Rocky Votolato

"Please slow it down
There’s a secret magic past world"

I'm not much of a fighter, so this fits just fine.

6. Breaking Up: Nothing in my way - Keane

"And why'd you lie
When you wanna die, when you hurt inside
Don't know what you lie for anyway
Now there's nothing left to say "

Amazingly apt isn't it?

7. Prom: Endlessly - Muse

"Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything"

Yes my dear, lovely, super foxy friends, I'm gg to miss you guys.

8. Life: L'esprit D'escalier - Jet

It means The Stairway Spirit - that's interesting

9. Mental Breakdown: Uncle Johnny - The Killers

"When everybody else refrained
My uncle Johnny did cocaine
He's convinced himself right in his brain
That it helps to take away the pain"

Well, it sounds just about mental enough.

10. Driving Far Away: The Special Two - Missy Higgins

"And we will only need each other, we'll bleed together
Our hands will not be taught to hold another's
'Cause we're the special two

And we can only see each other, we'll breathe together
These arms will not be taught to need another's
And we're the special two"

I guess I won't be driving alone - mainly cause I can't drive.

11. Flashback: The way you move - OutKast

Definetely a flashback song, there was this one time, I was in smoove and they were playing this song, blah blah.

12. Wedding: I want to hold your hand - The Beatles

Awwww, so cute. I want to hold your hand too, my smoochy-poochy-super-hot husband to be.

13. Birth of Child: One of a kind - Placebo

"Out of the womb and into the void,
I wanna try but I get annoyed,
Can't you see these skies are breaking?
So out of the womb and into the void."

I'm gg to have a very emo kid.

14. Final Battle: Extraordinary thing - Aqualung

"Cheer up, it might never happen, no
It might never happen, we will see"

I'm not a fighter la, say already right, all my fight scenes songs are so pussy.

15. Death Scene: Creepin' up the back stairs - The Fratellis

"When you're creepin' up the backstairs
Mother's nightmares
Falling in the front door
My my
Climbing in your window
Get dressed let's go
Take your brother's car keys
Bye bye"

Haha, this is a damn cute song.

16. Funeral Song: Navaratnamala - Bhagavan Sri Sathya

This is actually a sanskrit song - the only one I have in my library. It's what I play when I pray. I actually would want this to be played at my funeral, it's my favourite holy/worship song.

17. End Credit: Song to say goodbye - Placebo

The title surely fits, and its my fav Placebo song - its good that this soundtrack to my life starts and ends with two of my fav songs.

Ok, my family is ready, I have such amazing timing skills. See u (:

baby bags

Oh my god guys, if u asked me, they totally copied our idea. We're just too smart for our own good.

Its from Gallery of the Absurd

mind quest for excellence

So, I read about this thingy in one of these tarot-y, dream-y kind of websites where you try and remember dreams that you've forgotten. Its really interesting but lengthy and rather difficult so I'm not going to type it out. But you know the dream that I blogged about - the one about me dying, I worked with that dream and my little experiment worked!! I was actually able to remember my dream - now isn't that freaky. It came back in fragments first - you just have to keep on writing it down till you remember the full story.

And I wrote a poem about it - cause its rather twisted - I was killed by a giant bull. I really like the poem, so I posted it on DeviantArt, but no one has commented on it *poutxxzxz*. So leave some comments alright. I like reading comments on my poetry (:

Well then, here it is:

I died last night.

At the horns of an extra large bull with eyes of fire,
and horns like the ivory of an asian elephant.

He played a game with me,
chased me around the maze of my mind.
Through the logic
and the fuzzy bits,
passed music
and the little mathematical section.
Weaving into my languages
and passed the parts that I don't use.

All the time he was on my heels,
at points I could feel his breath on my buttocks,
at others I felt the foam from his mouth on my ankles.
And that godawful noise he made,
that grunting - resonated of the walls and went straight to my heart,
making it thump faster and louder then it ever did before.

As I ran through the maze,
I looked at the walls - lined with parts of me that I remember
my birthdays, friends, failed exams, family, music.
They were all framed,
the good - in beautiful wood
My first kiss, my 19th birthday, my first report card with straight A's...
the bad - in a state of decay
Getting dumped, my father, falling down over and over again...
The were hardly there anymore - these bad memories - but like garbage, they stank up everything.

They say before you die your life flashes past your eyes.
Well, mine did.
And then I realised that there was no point in running,
this maze would never end.

So I stopped and I heard the bull stop behind me,
I turned and I faced him head on,
pulling his horns - daring him to hurt me.
Screaming at the top of my lungs, calling him names
and telling him that I have no more fears.

And so he did,
with a smile under the foam
and in one swift motion,
he impaled me into the wall of my maze - my brain.

I gave in after a quick breath,
and then there was nothing.
And I woke up.

I died last night - though it was just a dream
A little part of me chooses to believe in it.

Nurul: Happy New Year love (:
Mavis: Yes Cinnabon rockzxxz worxzxz! And yes you can be the beautiful one.. (: I'm in a good mood.
Bee: Hahaha, now that you point it out - yes it does look very "normal". You should stand in the 2nd row of the pic all the time bee bee.

happy new year, baby (:

HEEEEEEELLLLOOOO YOU HOT SEXY YOUNG THINGS!!
HAPPPPPPY NEW YEAR (: (: (:

The year ended of really well for me (: after my wild wild week, KL was relaxing (though I did SHITLOADS of shopping) and I bought back Cinnabon (: Fab fab stuff. Got back in time to hear Jules say "Where the hell have you been? We thought you had been mugged or smthg!!" God I love my friends (: Home Club was good.. dancing to indie beats is better then any other kind of music any day man. My back and legs hurt like farrrrrrk BUT I had soooo much fun, it don't matter baybeh.

LOVE LOVE YOU GUYS.
SCHOOL STARTS IN A DAY AND I AM PREPARED TO SLOG MY PRETTY PERT BUTTOCKS OFF. (:
I LOVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. (Though I might take back this statement pretty soon)

That horrid feeling is finally gone (: